la cefalea como fuerza creativa

desde hace 6 días tengo un dolor de cabeza horrible que no sé reconocer. nunca he tenido sinusitis ni migraña ni neuralgias ni un tumor, nada. he sido básicamente sana. convivir con este dolor (que no amaina con ibuprofeno) me ha hecho pensar en todxs esxs poetas y artistas enfermxs para quienes el dolor se convierte en fuerza creativa. quizás ha llegado mi hora. poeta maldita por la neuralgia, mi hora de padecer. en práctica se siente como si te atravesaran con un fierro helado la cabeza transversalmente, como un apretón macabro dado a pura presión. el sentido atrofiado se retuerce, no se expande sino como niño asustado y obliga al cuerpo a menearse con lentitud. toda yo ralentizada, a 12,5 frames por segundo. luego la evasión de cualquier cosa moderna o divertida, las drogas, el alcohol, los sacudones. eso sí, la marihuana la sigo consumiendo porque sé reconocer ampliamente sus facultades terapéuticas y antiinflamatorias. total, que mi cabeza sigue así, y no sé si con los días el dolor disminuye o es que mi acostumbramiento crece. intento dedicarme a tareas física e intelectualmente flojas confiando en que pronto esto acabará y podré dedicarme, con todas mis facultades, a actividades más exigentes (si es que no me acostumbro definitivamente al estado distendido del vivir al que el dolor me obliga y al que yo me someto con los ánimos de la mejor sumisa del continente).
no fue esto, pero sin duda ayudó, lo que hizo que este año comenzara sin planes ni objetivos. estoy madurando o me vuelvo jipi y cómoda. durante los primeros días del año me llegó una rana mágica concede deseos y no he sabido qué pedirle. incapaz de centrarme en un  solo objetivo, la verdad es que sigo tranquila. el invierno pasa y hay sol. y muchos frentes abiertos. quizás el rizoma ha llegado a mi vida de forma práctica.

* la foto es de mi querida malena (¿cuándo te haces una web para ponerte un link?)

26 thoughts on “la cefalea como fuerza creativa

  1. el rizoma es el vórtice más demoledor, porque una vez que llega ya no hay certezas, la lógica es un juego de niños y el ansía consume

  2. Pingback: » la rana mágica ¶ Violencia de la intimidad

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