hoy hice una pausa ecosexual (ya haré un informe completo de la despampanante visita de annie y beth, su amor y energía).
hoy me leyeron el i-ching y busqué más consejos espirituales con adriana cavarero y judith butler. de las divagaciones de la primera rescato la gestualidad inclinada, inclinaciones múltiples y quizás más que geométricas, cruzadas por la física cuántica (como dijo la butler). porque yo no soy madre, sino una mutación. soy una mujer barbuda y abortista, incluso vulnerable por la inclinación hacia mi propia especie torcida. vivo en la ambivalencia de las relaciones diagonales, en el magma de la precariedad compartida. me puse a transpirar cuando se sacó la chaqueta, porque había imaginado que todas las notas que tomaba las escribía sobre mi espalda. su sonrisa es mi sueldo, quise decirle. y no pude dejar de pensar durante las dos horas de conferencia que a la butler me la follaría sin tregua sobre la misma mesa donde apoyaba sus manitas frágiles que sostenían su cabeza bendita por mi rotundo amor platónico.
joder, judit butler etá aquí y no me he enterado?
Yo también la encontré increíblemente atractiva y eso que es como un típico profe judío de la academia norteamericana, muy sencilla, elegante, asertiva y dulce.
Vino un día a cenar a un restaurante donde trabajé aquí en Londres. Me dejó la chaqueta y cuando nadie me veía la olí y miré en sus bolsillos. Quise chupar su pinta labios de vaselina, la miré mientras cenaba y me puse muy nerviosa cuando vino a mi otra vez.
Yo también tuve la impresión aquí en Santiago de que la visita de la Butler era lo más parecido a la venida de una santa posmoderna a lo que yo hubiera asistido. Verdaderas procesiones iban a verla, no porque estuvieran realmente interesados en la compleja conferencia sobre Hannah Arendt que dictaría, sino porque era ella, por acceder un poco a su gracia por proximidad, y si le podía besar la mano, aún mejor. Algo tiene que ver con su sex appeal, pero sobre todo, pienso, con la promesa que levanta de que la política desde el lugar de cada cual, es posible y necesaria, y así devuelve a la gente un sentido de lo público, una esperanza.
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