el ego ya pasó de moda (aborto I)

hace un tiempo me llegó un mail de la negra invitándome a colaborar con la introducción para un manual de aborto. lo que más me gustó de la convocatoria fue este párrafo:

La idea es hacer con todas vuestras ideas una editorial donde devinamos manada y destruyamos el ego, es decir no es como poner una cita y el nombre del autor/a … vamos pal 2012 y el ego ya paso de moda…

durante la última semana me encontré con estos dos videos:

y envié este esbozo hippie y comunitarista sobre el aborto, que creo será un tema en el cual, tal como en los últimos días, estaré pensando este año.

aborto I

hay aborto voluntario e involuntario. el voluntario es como hacerse un tatuaje, el involuntario es cuando te pasa algo sin que te des cuenta, a mí una vez se me rompió un diente. tatuaje o dientes rotos. los abortos no deseados pueden venir bien, mal o sin constancia del hecho. supongo que estamos hablando aquí de aborto deseado.

pensar en aborto no sé por qué se vincula a la maternidad si se refiere a exactamente lo contrario.
la maternidad no es considerada una patología, aunque muchas veces se comporte como tal.

cuando estuve embarazada nunca pensé en tener un hijo. sólo pensaba en lo que quería hacer en mi vida, en los maravillosos planes para los que me estaba reservando. dejar de estar embarazada fue eminentemente un alivio.

cuando aborté me dolió tener que entregar mi cuerpo a personas que no conocía. sé que un cuerpo es sólo un cuerpo, es una interfaz, y también parte de un dispositivo completo, que no acaba en mi propio cuerpo que está expandido en todas las moléculas que respiro, toco o interactúo energéticamente.
cuando aborté entregué mi cuerpo y 300.000 pesos en efectivo a 6 manos que no conocía, que desconocí en su cutex rojo, en sus toqueteos extraños. fuí a un lugar también desconocido, junto a una persona que me llevó en un auto conducido por alguien que no vi.
estos abortos son cicatrices en todos nuestros cuerpos.
mientras me realizaban la intervención, estando yo totalmente sedada, le pedí a las personas que estaban allí que me guardaran todo lo que estaban sacando. quería hacerme un collar. en práctica quería ser la dueña de mi experiencia, en mi imaginario cosificada, fetichizable, susceptible de ser manipulada artesanalmente, como una semilla o un hueso. lxs interventores me dieron por loca.

luego estuve rodeada de personas que me apoyaban en mi autoderminación y que confiaban en mis deseos, de alguna manera personas que sentían y hacían suyo mi cuerpo deseante en su intención. hicimos una fiesta.
hubiese sido muy feliz si toda esa gente me hubiese podido acompañar en mi aborto, un aborto do it yourself. me hubiera gustado saber hacerlo, tener las herramientas y poder descapitalizar mi cuerpo sacándolo de esa nube de mercado negro y clandestinidad.

66 thoughts on “el ego ya pasó de moda (aborto I)

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