mala puta, puta mala

soy la peor puta del mundo, mala del verbo mala. cuando me da el celo me pongo romántica, hormonas desviadas. busco a mis ex-amantes, les doy golpes o les acoso, mientras espío de reojo a la juventud que se menea a mi lado. me encantaría aprovechar mi celo para poder rentabilizarlo, pero tengo la sicología de la puta totalmente atontada.
es curioso que en chile se me de más la curiosidad. no estoy segura por qué, aunque supongo que el producto nacional siempre se valoriza más que el de exportación (especialmente si cuando soy de exportación mi condición se acerca más a la del tráfico ilegal, por lo tanto algo totalmente devaluado, propio del top manta o de feria de las pulgas).
en principio se supone que tengo probabilidades, aunque tenga que alterar unas cuantas cosas para cuajar. cerrar el pico, vestirme bien, depilarme, cerrar el pico, agradar, maquillarme, cerrar el pico, ser coqueta, sonreir.
todo se aprende, pero yo más que aprender lo que debería hacer es crear un nuevo nicho en el mercado, inventarme como producto, hiperrealista, feminista, un producto bruto que de paso reforme el heteropatriarcado, que lo haga deshacerse en la práctica racional del sexo con seres deseables y mal llevados, indomables. ese producto mío sería estupendo y por lo mismo quizás imposible, factible de ser transado en un mercado de trueque, con suerte, al margen, muy al margen del capitalismo.
hoy un tipo me ofreció un pasaje de chile a holanda con tal de que lo dominara. si tuviera más confianza en mí misma como dómina (y no como dictadora), hubiese aceptado. pero en algún punto soy demasiado honesta y no logro cederme a la especulación. debo aprender de la banca española, de las burbujas inmobiliarias, del arribismo intelectual ¿debo?
«no se nace puta, se llega a serlo»* y en algún punto mi fracaso prostitutorio da risa, cuando sin darme cuenta le digo a mi primer cliente que no quiero dinero (porque no me interesa) sino un smartphone con android de última generación (incluso le envío el link del que quiero para que lo busque, o lo encargue, porque quizás no ha llegado a chile…). y así pierdo clientes o les amargo el día, porque no puede haber una puta tan mala en este feudo, o no se dan cuenta que quizás sólo es que soy tan vanguardista que aún no se han inventado.

* simone de beauvoir parafraseada por felipe rivas san martín

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