porque no me baja la regla

porque el porno es cultura popular. porque soy una desclasada y nunca estoy satisfecha. porque me gusta la gente y los hombres y las mujeres y sobre todo las cosas raras, porque todo es táctica y estrategia, aunque se nos olvide a cada rato. porque me enclaustro en un bit y luego me emancipo, porque el cuarto propio de virginia woolf es un salón burgués donde comen perdices al horno y yo vegetariana, porque no cagaba cuando comía carne, aunque los animales me importen poco, o nada, y sea este un desamor que paradojalmente manifieste mi total deshumanidad. porque la fiesta me hace feliz y plena y no hay ninguna forma de evaluar ese placer por vía racional. porque me gusta hablar, y hay otra cosa rara ahí con la construcción de mí misma a través de la voz o la palabra, algo que suena bien pero que a veces me hace pensar seriamente en el deber de tatuarme el proverbio «por la boca muere el pez». porque soy inconciente e incoherente, porque la coherencia me incomoda, porque la considero otra de las ficciones tóxicas de la existencia, porque nunca he hecho nada coherente, ni aun lógico, porque no quiero hacerlo, porque me resisto y soy insumisa y cuando no vaya en contra de algo, por más mínimo que sea, estaré muerta. porque nunca pienso en mi muerte sino como algo que llegará sin dolor, porque soy bastante insensible al dolor, o al menos creo serlo. porque de ficciones se construye nuestra vida y nuestro amor, y digo amor porque afectación me parece un eufemismo, y jorge creo que lo sabe tan bien como yo, y supongo que muchos otrxs también con quienes voy cosiendo mi carne amatoria. porque soy un pedazo de carne que tiene muchos retazos, soy muchos retazos de carne. porque no me baja la regla cuando quiero y cuando quiero no me baja. porque todo es tan simple que da asco, y me gusta viajar más que casi cualquier otra cosa, porque los viajes son evasión de lo perpetuo, porque, quiero convencerme, no hay nada perpetuo, y las cintas de video se borrarán algún día que aún no ha llegado como para comprobarlo. porque ningún soporte resiste al tiempo, nuestros cuerpos son el ejemplo. porque todos los registros están muertos y manipulados y vamos a escribir sobre historia porque nos da la gana y el entusiasmo, y lo haremos complejamente porque algo de eso nos calienta, y mucho. porque sentimos que algo de nuestro cuerpo está vivo al calentarnos y no hay medida ni nada que se interponga a los designios de la excitación. porque lo demás sería muy triste, aunque fuera bueno. porque como puta soy mala, tengo el deber de reconocerlo, en la humildad está el gesto y mi redención. porque profesional nunca he sido ni lo seré, porque prefiero la inclinación experimental al disciplinamiento metódico, por que la cerveza no se acabe, por que la alegría nos siga dando punzadas en medio del pecho, de vez en cuando, sólo a veces, de lo contrario sería el nirvana y el nirvana, como es sabido, no existe, porque no hemos querido creer en él. por que todas las letras sean infinitas y nos cubran a besos, por que los textos caigan de manera diluvial, por que no nos muramos haciendo twitts, porque no queremos que ninguna red social mate a ninguna compañera (ya hay varias perdidas), por que me baje la regla luego, esa es la consigna, porque no hay forma de describir la sensación de cartílagos revolviéndose en tu útero sin emerger, sin manchar nada.

11 thoughts on “porque no me baja la regla

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