el colonialismo de la fantasía blanca

facebook_pikara

no suelo aceptar en facebook a nadie que no conozca personalmente. ayer a través de una amiga pude conocer el estado de una persona, a la que precisamente desconozco, que hacía referencia directa a mí, con nombre y apellido. en realidad no voy haciendo caso a la gente que no conozco e intento hacer menos caso aún por facebook… pero anoche no me podía dormir pensando en qué me gustaría poder decir al respecto.

la persona dijo lo que dice la imagen que encabeza el post y alude al texto publicado en revista pikara en enero de este año.

a ver, igual esta persona leyó el artículo muy en diagonal. es lo más probable, lo único que puedo pensar. no pilló que se trata de una experiencia y una percepción tardía de la experiencia y que es muy personal y situada. de hecho (anécdota), hasta a la pornoterrorista le pareció que me sobreexponía con este texto. y además, ante el impacto de que el texto fuese de los más leídos de pikara, compartido por diversos medios, escribí esto. la cantidad de agresiones que empezaron a haber en los comentarios obligó a la editorial a cerrarlos en un abrir y cerrar de ojos. y esto no es censura, esto es purita autopreservación feminista. (y esto ya es otro tema, pero el poder intenta hacernos creer que censura es también no dale la voz al enemigo…)

esta persona leyó en diagonal el texto porque su etnocentrismo le impide ver que no todo el planeta es como su barrio de ¿madrid? a ver, lo vuelvo a explicar para las que no lo sepáis y aprovecho de aclarar un poco cómo están las diferencias en el mundo. en chile el aborto es absolutamente ilegal, no importa que tengas un feto de 10 cabezas que te va a estrangular por dentro, no importa que tengas 8 años y tu padre te haya violado (¿tendría que decir follado para no herir la susceptibilidad de una chica “pro-sex”?) desde los 3 años hasta lograr tu embarazo, no importa que no quieras tener un hijo. en chile en el año 2004 la iglesia católica había retirado de circulación en las farmacias 3 veces la píldora del día después. si eres una pija nada de esto importa mucho. puedes viajar a europa, puedes pedirle ayuda a alguien. si eres una pija probablemente no podrás entender que un embarazo no deseado, y que se te obligue a tenerlo es también una violación. porque “violación” no es sólo el polvo en un callejón oscuro donde te folla un negro ante tu resistencia (esto es en las películas y pone mucho, pero violación son muchas otras cosas que lamentablemente no adorna el imaginario cinematográfico con tanto ahínco).

me parece que el comentario de esta persona deja ver muchas cosas que me gustaría cuestionar aquí desde mi posición. básicamente porque me dan rabia, me agotan y me angustian. me angustia el feminismo pro-sex que lo único que sabe es mirarse a sí mismo, esta actualización del feminismo blanco y aburguesado que tanto se ha cuestionado pero que escurre por todos los rincones, porque para más inri coincide con que son las voces que el poder actualiza. los medios oficiales les dan voz porque son cuerpos que no disrumpen nada, cuerpos blancos, europeos, hegemónicamente guapos, flacos. cuerpos y subjetividades que no tienen capacidad de empatizar con otra experiencia y otra visión que no sea la suya, cuerpos que se erigen como la transgresión absoluta aunque apenas transgredan el imaginario de su papá progre, y con mucha suerte…

llevo un buen tiempo trabajando para que existan espacios como la muestra marrana, pensando y repensando las prácticas postpornográficas, intentando hacer diálogos entre las ideas y las prácticas, mi investigación y mi vida son, a este punto, bastante indifirenciables. y digo esto no para darle más legitimidad a mi voz, digo esto para que se entienda cómo me frikea que me digan que “criminalizo de forma esencialista a los hombres” ¿perdón? ¿hola?

es un asunto al que una le ha dedicado bastante tiempo el de pensar los mecanismos de excitación sexual, los propios y los impuestos y las violencias que hay en ese terreno y en otros paralelos y/o autónomos. de hecho el texto precisamente cuestiona la naturalización de las agresiones que, sin cuestionamientos, quedarían en el terreno de lo normal. no hago ningún paralelo entre fantasía y agresión sino para hablar que mi imaginario infantil estaba permeado por el patriarcado, y ni siquiera lo hago por juzgar, sino exactamente para denotar lo pantanoso de este terreno.

tu fantasía nunca será mi agresión. mi agresión es mi agresión y punto. así como mi fantasía no ha de ser la tuya, y un largo etcétera. no pretendo para nada meterme con los mecanismos de excitación de nadie ya que es un curro que nuestra cultura heteropatriarcal nos obliga a hacer de forma bastante solitaria (y he allí otro por qué de encuentros como la muestra marrana). por qué planteas que quiero dar lecciones si lo único que pretendo es comprender la historia de mi coño???

para mí el único tema es el consenso. sin apellidos, consenso y punto. no puedo aceptar la lógica del “consenso implícito” justamente porque en esta cultura heterocentrada lo implícito es todo lo que reproduce las cosas tal como están. y bien que nos han jodido, hasta el punto de que no se reconozca como agresión una cosa que han hecho contra mi voluntad y dormida, hasta el punto de que se me tilde de “criminalizar la fantasía” y de «dar lecciones» por favor… tal como dice xara, es como decir: me encanta la asfixia pero el tratado de ginebra contra la tortura la prohíbe, me criminaliza porque a mí me encanta que mi novio me asfixie… joder, para cuándo el taller de comprensión de lectura (y de comprensión de la realidad) feminista?

creo que europa nos hace mucho daño. siento que tus privilegios me criminalizan y me maltratan, que intentan desesperadamente y por facebook, hacerme sentir impositiva por una experiencia personal y situada. para las posiciones blancas y burguesas los propios privilegios son extensibles al mundo entero, y esto me duele. me duele de forma personal y política (que vendría a ser lo mismo), me duele como me duele el patriarcado cada día que me lo encuentro en los pasos fronterizos, en la jerarquización brutal, en la explotación de lo feminizado, en la exclusión por cuestiones de raza, condición social y sexual, me duele como la dinámica pija y heterocentrada sigue cada día imponiendo su autovictimización de carrefour. y mi dolor se convertirá en rabia y en acción, y la escritura es esta mañana para mí, también una forma una acción y de resistencia.

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