jefatura de poesía


me hice daño. eso dijo, me hice daño. ha aprendido a hablar esta lengua de corrosión y empatía. ya no viajo sola con un ordenador, un desodorante, bragas y condones. ahora viajo con un teclado para reinterpretarme a mí misma, para poder borrar las mayúsculas, para poder exclamar. ahora viajo menos y mi cuerpo se mueve más lento. leo menos, escribo menos, ligo menos. intento meditar a través de una app que increpa al cerebro en inglés intentando conducirlo por la buena senda del no pensar. qué aburrida la razón, pero mucho más aburrido el corazón cuando sigue llorando como cabro chico en medio de una micro llena, micro explota, rebosa cuerpos grasos y teléfonos con la misma app, vibrando, y el aburrido corazón, todavía, llorando. quería llegar a casa y escribir poesía. quería una sesión de self-personal trainer en el gimnasio de la poesía. la paz de hablar con una planta de asuntos tan mundanos como el desplazamiento de las raíces, el corte y extracción de ramas tristes, la radicalidad del fermento. lamentablemente intento poético cae rápidamente en un descampado. solo y aturdido, el pobre intento, piensa en cómo entrometerse en otros textos, otras lógicas, otros principios. su soledad confirma el infortunio: si nadie ha llegado hasta allí, quizás no sea una buena señal. el intento poético no se infiltra pero se camufla, hace té, come un resto de pizza fría. se masturba. escucha música punk. se masturba. deja su odio de lado y pierde fuerzas. se hace una poesía que clama tiernamente visibilidad o un tímido discurso político, una poesía seca, demasiado reivindicativa para lo blanda que es, literal. una poesía que se busca a sí misma en facebook -dos likes- una poesía movilizada por la envidia y la aparición, spam. el gimnasio es tarea ardua, se oxidan las máquinas, se oxida la letra A. un teclado puede perder su voz, pero no se pierde lo que no se tiene, eso debe haberlo dicho algún alma del más acá, o alguien que promulgaba la cosmogonía de la pobreza con inusitada fe. alguien que fumaba para no olvidar su propio cuerpo, alguien que acabó dañado por haber aprendido a hablar.


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